Moving is really tough. Not just the physical moving stuff, over-exposure to dust, packing/hauling nightmare tough, but the fact that you can't move everything. You can't move your best friends, the places you had many magical memories, your favorite diner...soon, some stranger will be inhabiting the apartment where you and your boyfriend shared a first kiss over fudge pops. But still, you have to move.
Today, as I left Lake Charles in my review mirror, my cats in the backseat, it felt like much the same way that I came, only I was driving the opposite direction. I had no way of knowing all of the things that would happen in Lake Charles, and how the place would change my life, my writing, and me. I didn't know the good and the bad and the wonderful things that were awaiting. I didn't know all the amazing people I would meet. And today, I was thinking that's for the best. Life is best full of wonder and surprise. We are all along for the ride in this world, and it's good, because sometimes Life knows what it's doing more than we know. Not that we don't get choices, we do, and we make them, and what happens next is a kind of awe inspiring chaos.
Before I came to Lake Charles, I couldn't even pin it on a map. I had never heard of the place, and now every corner holds a memory. I don't think the fact that I am gone has hit me yet...and that's why I'm afraid to download the latest pictures from my camera. Seeing our last night there with friends will be hard to process. But we have to move. All of us, we finished what we came to do. It's not a closed chapter though, it's an open page. Our relationships with the people, the program, and the place will be continuing.
We did eventually get moved. With the help of my parents, Will & Missy, and our friend B.J.'s son, Justice. We are SO thankful for the help we got, we could not have done it alone! I also had a wonderful birthday yesterday, and we got to hang out with our friends and tell them goodbye. Of course, it was very bittersweet.
And now? Life feels...totally up in the air, and I have to learn to breathe comfortably in transition, which is not easy for me. I like to plan, but I have to learn that sometimes I can't, and maybe that's for the best. I am exhausted, but staying up for Brendan's arrival (he stayed behind to clean his place and left later). Lola and Zoe seem happy, lots of purring. Right now, we have to live fully in the present since the future is a blank canvas...but I suppose that's the way all things start. And I try to remember, everyone needs to go in a new direction, sometimes quite literally.
Where we end up next might be a place we couldn't even pin on a map...but I bet we know a lot of people who will come visit ;)
<3 Stacy, Lola & Zoe
P.S. If you're looking for some good reading, check out this online literary issue of Trigger. Featuring Artwork, Poetry, and Fiction. I <3 it.