Monday, October 10, 2011

On Winning My First Fantasy Football Game

I did it. I won a football game.

Well, okay, I didn't actually put on a uniform or even touch a football, but with the careful strategy of a mouse-clicking-genius, I have kicked some stranger's internet fantasy ass.

And damn. It feels good.

I have friends who are self-proclaimed "football widows," meaning, when it's football season, their husbands or boyfriends abandon them to watching the games. Luckily, Brendan's a lot more considerate than that. Still, last fall, his eyes lit up every Saturday as he carefully made decisions about who to bench and who to start. I couldn't resist joining in. I thought of the perfect name "GoGrabMyBelt" (based on an inside joke between the friends on our team), and I couldn't have been more thrilled when I coined my team slogan "You need a smackin' baby." Sure, I let Brendan show me the ropes at first, and even let him make suggestions, but quickly, I become very possessive of my fantasy. When Brendan offered to fix my line up for me, or made a suggestion I didn't agree with, like a toddler who has just learned the word no, I would proclaim "this is MY fantasy." And what could he do?

I lost my first four games. I'll admit, I made decisions based on player's pictures, the weekly write-ups by yahoo staff (yes, people are paid and salaried solely to deal with fantasy football), and my "gut instinct" (aka-did the player's name sound familiar to me?) But I also had a hell of a match-up every weekend. I posted a lot of smack talk, but to no avail. Sunday led to much anxiety (you can LOSE points? What do you mean he's injured? Football players take a week off?). This weekend, I could hardly watch Twin Peaks on DVD, so anxious was I to update my internet browser and see my scores. I'm not sure if Brendan was looking on in horror or proud of my new found obsession, almost equal to his.

But I am sure of one thing, fantasy football is pretty freaking fun. I enjoy the competitive nature of it, and it brings me closer to friends I haven't seen in months. Mostly, I like the smack talk feature. And now, it's week 5, my opponent has a kicker still playing, but unless that sucker can score over 24 points in the last half (which is, lets face it, impossible!), this game is all mine. "Looks like you're gonna need a miracle honey," I posted in my smack talk.

Yeah, that's right, I'm the winner. I looked at the star ratings and the pictures, and I thought hard about what names sounded champion like.  Sometimes I even said them aloud. Nick Novak. OH yeah. Alright, I gotta go move the laundry.

Here's to the fantasy.
<3 S, L&Z


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