Friday, October 12, 2012

So We Kissed: Two Years With My Best Friend

Two years ago, I kissed my best friend, and today we're celebrating the best two years of our lives.

It seems hard to believe that it has been a year since I wrote these words recounting the beginning of our relationship:
"So we kissed. Without knowing where it would lead, with no guarantees that things would work out. We both took that risk of trusting the other person. It isn't an easy thing to do. I was scared, but also so happy. I knew how I wanted things to work out, but I could only hope that Brendan wanted the same things."-From One Year With My Best Friend 
In Brendan, I have found unconditional love, my better half, and my partner in "so much fun, it's criminal." He truly keeps me balanced and sane, and I am so thankful for him every day. We have a perfect equality in our relationship, and a mutual respect and appreciation for one another. I look forward to all the celebrations that the rest of our lives will bring, and I can't wait to marry him in less than 9 months. We are going to become a family and join each other's families. The love and joy in my life has doubled because of Brendan, and I am so grateful for all the relationships and people he has brought to my life.

I'm not much for taking risks, but I am one to follow my intuition. I realized that I was in love with Brendan one night at a smokey bar in Lake Charles the summer before we started dating. We were out with a group, but spent the whole night talking only to each other. As I watched him walk home that night, I felt a complete and total sadness that we were not emotions, everything felt complicated; I knew what I had to do as a result of my feelings and a million other reasons, but also knew that it might be too late for us. It took me a few months to get to a place where I could be more than a friend, (and a few months for Brendan to be there too), and it felt confusing, scary, and crazy for a while there. And it was. But maybe everything great starts that way. I don't know, but I knew he was someone special, and our lives changed that day that we took our very first step towards being us.

I think in that moment of our first kiss, I knew that our lives wouldn't always be perfect, or easy, but I also hoped that in each other, we had found the person to go through it all with. For us, falling in love happened over a period of two and a half years. I loved Brendan for everything he was as a friend, long before those afternoons we spent holding hands. And I think that's what made our relationship work out...before any of it started, we had already found that we loved one another for not an idea of who we wanted each other to be, not because of infatuation, but genuinely for who the other person was. I wouldn't change anything about it. When I look at Brendan, I see someone who sees my true self...and loves me for all of the great things, and in spite of all of the flaws. I feel the same way about him, and I feel so lucky that we're going to spend our lives together.

We're off to New Mexico today for a weekend of exploring and resting. We love celebrating with an adventure...but we also packed some champagne.

Simply said, I love you, Bren. You took my hand and the whole world lit up, and every day has been brighter ever since.
<3 Stacy

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