Today marks four years since Brendan and I shared that first kiss that has led to so much wonderful in our lives:
Leading up to today, I had been thinking a lot about our relationship and how lucky I am to have Brendan by my side. I'm lucky because Brendan is an amazing person that gives me so much affection, love, and care, but I'm lucky for a reason beyond that: I found someone to spend my life with that I am crazy about.
My mother-in-law, who has been married for 37 years on Wednesday, once told me that marriage is hard. I know that she is right; marriage can be difficult at times. But if you find someone you're crazy about, the hard parts don't seem to matter so much.
When I think back to four year ago, I remember life being wonderful and agonizing. Wonderful because I was so in love, and because every time I was with Brendan, I was so happy. Agonizing because I was so vulnerable in how much I loved him. I finally felt the real thing, which nothing else in my life had compared to. I had a realization that this was what I had been looking for, but I never had found it because I didn't know what it was until I had it, and it was agony knowing I could end up heartbroken if it didn't work out. But now, I think the only relationship worth having is that one: the one where you are so crazy about someone else that that person is all you can think of. The one where you would drive to the store in the literal freezing cold to pick up ingredients to make that person a warm dinner. The one where you can't spend a weekend apart.
Now, I look back on falling in love, and I know that I would have never felt so much for another person, all that passion or pure joy, if there wasn't such intensity to the depth of my feelings. Yes, I really felt like my life depended on how things would turn out, but honestly, it wouldn't be my life without him. And that feeling is what makes our marriage.
Our relationship has taught me so much about compromise, putting another's needs in line with my own, and being there for someone whether it's easy or hard, but though the past 1,462 days have changed us, one thing is still very much the same: I'm still crazy about him.
Happy four years together, Brendan. I've cherished every day.