Tuesday, December 11, 2018

Real Life, A Comedy

Greetings faithful blog readers,

I've received many nice compliments over the years from friends that read the blog; however, one thing the comments make me realize is my tendency to empathize the positive and skim over the less glamorous moments. I thought it would be funny to write you guys a list of the "real stuff" that has happened to us since Thanksgiving. Put together, the list looks hilarious. Obviously, I do not intend this as a complaint. My life is filled to the brim with people, circumstances, and stuff to be thankful for. I just thought you guys might get a good chuckle out of this!

Pertinent background information: the time between Thanksgiving and winter break is extremely busy and stressful at work for us because of finals. These two weeks were already going to be a challenge. Here we go, in the order I can remember things:

Monday, 11/26
I wake up with what feels like a giant pimple underneath my eyebrow. A look in the mirror reveals that my eye is swollen half shut. I take a hot shower, but I notice this is not just a pimple that's going to go away on its own. I call the doctor and make an appointment for the next day. I feel like I look like Quasimodo with my half swollen eye, but Brendan says it's not that bad.

Tuesday, 11/27
The doctor tells me I have an infected hair follicle (under the skin), and she prescribes antibiotics. I'm really not excited about taking antibiotics, especially while breastfeeding, but my doctor insists that I do so because the infection is close to my eye. She also insists I make another appointment for Thursday and tells me if the bump isn't smaller she's going to cut it out of my face and it will leave a scar. Um, great. I pick up the antibiotics and head to work for a major event I'm on the committee for. The antibiotics have to be taken with food, so I take them with lunch and then again with dinner.

That night, I discover that Zoe has a UTI about ten minutes before the vet's office closes for the day. I call them, but the vet is already gone. I quarantine Zoe to our bathroom with food, water, a bed, and a litter box. Between attending to Zoe and Willa, I proceed to get basically three hours of sleep.

Wednesday, 11/28
I wake up in the middle of the night to change and feed Willa feeling dizzy, but I assume it's just because I've hardly slept. I tell Brendan I'm going to take a personal day to take Zoe to the vet and rest. Brendan covers for my classes. I drop Willa off at daycare, drop Zoe off at the vet, and run an errand to Office Depot to pick up special paper for the certificates for the creative writing awards. I get home and start feeling really crummy. By the time it's time to get Willa, I tell Brendan there is no way I can drive. He picks up Willa and Zoe (who has received medication and a new prescription diet). I start throwing up. Brendan discovers I've taken my antibiotics incorrectly (not waiting 12 hours between doses, I've taken 6 pills in 18 hours instead of 24 hours). I spend the remainder of the day miserable and sick. Brendan takes care of Willa other than the nursing part, which I'm thankful I can do lying down.

Thursday, 11/29
The doctor is really pleased with how the antibiotics are working, so she tells me I have to stay on them but they shouldn't make me sick if I take them correctly. I'm relieved she doesn't have to cut my face open.

We have a normal weekend, and I'm feeling much better. On Sunday, I take my antibiotics with breakfast at 10:30AM. We're eating dinner at 7:30PM, and I'm not going to eat again at 10:30PM. I take the antibiotics three hours early. Brendan says this is much different than taking an extra dose, and I should be fine.

Monday, 12/3
I wake up feeling nauseous. Very very nauseous. It's a crazy workday, and I can't call out sick because I just missed Wednesday. I decide I'll try to suck it up, but I skip my antibiotics, assuming that's the problem again. I drink fluid but don't even try to eat. Finally, in the afternoon, I can't take it anymore. I call Brendan, and he gives me a ride home. As soon as we arrive home, I throw up. I continue to be sick for the remainder of the day with a 101 fever. I have chills and feel terrible. Brendan brings Willa home and entertains her. I'm amazed my body continues to produce milk, since I'm basically forcing myself to sip tablespoons of Gatorade, water, and apple juice but having much more luck just eating ice chips. I eat a few bites of macaroni as my food intake for the day.

Tuesday, 12/4
Brendan is sick, but his symptoms are a lot less severe than mine, thankfully. I realize Monday's illness had nothing to do with my antibiotics, and I restart them. After work, I realize that I am covered in hives head to toe. They don't itch and aren't very large, but they are everywhere, including the tops of my feet. Is this real life? I think perhaps it may be from the laundry detergent we used over Thanksgiving at my parents' house, but I still don't know if it was related to the bug I got or something I ate...they stuck around about two full days before disappearing. 

Thursday, 12/6
Due to terrible planning, we arrive home from the college holiday evening around 7PM and realize we need to bring about four batches of cookies to school the next day for various events. We have hardly any butter. I put Willa to bed, and we stupidly decide to find recipes from the internet that don't use much butter and make our own cookies. The first batch of sugar cookies tastes kind of like canola oil. We then decide to make almond cookies, but we don't want to use the food processor and wake Willa, so Brendan crushes almonds using a cutting board...it is literally 10PM by the time we finish making said cookies. We should have just gone to the store. On the other hand, we laughed so hard about it, so I kind of don't regret it.

Saturday, 12/8
Mid cycle, the washing machine breaks. It is completely full of water. Brendan uses empty litter boxes to drain all the water out. We proceed to spend 3 hours shopping for a new washer, which cannot be delivered for another week (and we're honestly lucky to not have to wait longer). Willa is a total trooper during the entire ordeal (but I definitely find myself changing a dirty diaper in the car in the parking lot of Best Buy).

Sunday, 12/9
At 4:30AM, Lola is running around the house vomiting. I've been up since 3:30AM because of Willa. I clean up the vomit, and Lola proceeds to have diarrhea all over the bathmat. I clean that up too (and throw away said mat). At first, I assume the prescription diet doesn't agree with Lola, but Brendan says that he thinks she ate a dust bunny from behind the washing machine. Brendan says it is fitting because now the entire household has been sick! (Willa has a persistent cold, and Brendan went on antibiotics for a sinus infection right before Thanksgiving).

Monday, 12/10
Lola vomited twice but otherwise was fine. We didn't sleep well Sunday night, so we were both tired, but I made it through giving all my finals and the last day of tutoring. 

Tuesday, 12/11
Lola is fine today. The day was good, except driving all the way to school and forgetting Brendan had the car seat. The two turn lanes to get to our home are closed off, so there's horrible traffic. I have to remember to go a different route. It took me almost an hour to pick Willa up (since I had to make two complete there and back trips). I worked out for the first time in three weeks...it was so hard. I've got to go everyday this week to make up for lost time. I treated myself to a mani/pedi, and it was like the most luxurious experience ever.

Will we ever make it through our grading stack? Will Lola and Zoe be okay? (Zoe goes back to the vet tomorrow to check on her recovery progress). Will we run out of clean underwear? Send elves. Send an extra car seat! Send a clone of me that has time to go to the laundry mat. Send hugs!

I hope you enjoyed my "real life" post.
It's the most wonderful time of the year!

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