Thanks for all your support and well wishes for our family. It means the world to us! I definitely plan to recap my pregnancy this go around too because I find it's a great way to keep people updated. My blogging time is severely limited these days, but I'll try not to make pregnancy the sole focus of the blog.
If you've been reading for awhile, you know the long story behind our first pregnancy (well, really our second pregnancy, but our first baby). Getting pregnant with Willa took almost a year start to finish and involved a missed miscarriage that I talked openly about in that post. I wanted to start this post by saying our experience this time was totally different. I remember what it's like to want to be pregnant and be looking at negative tests month after month. If you're on that journey, I'm sending all the positive wishes I can for you and also advise that you skip this post if you don't think it will be an uplifting experience.
0 or 2
Brendan and I played a game at our wedding shower where we were individually asked a bunch of questions, and guests had to guess which answers belonged to each of us. One of the questions was how many children we wanted. We both answered "0 or 2" (I wrote a bit about making the decision to parent in the post linked above). As soon as we had Willa, I constantly found myself referring to our "kids," even though we only had one kid. We both grew up with a sibling and really hoped to have two kids. At the same time, I feared pregnancy might not come easily and braced myself for another wait or even adjusting our plan if it didn't happen a second time for us.
Ideally, we decided we wanted our kids close in age because we thought it'd be fun for them and hard at first for us but then convenient since they could play together and we'd spend less time confined to home base (pretty hard to travel with super little ones!). Birth control wasn't even something we had to think about until Willa's first birthday (I was still nursing Willa 2X a day at that point, and my period took a full year to return). By the time I got my period back, it seemed pointless to worry about birth control because we were planning to actively start trying in June (with the idea of pregnancy possibly taking a year or more). Our plan was to avoid the fertile window for a couple of months, but life had other plans. I didn't chart or use OPKs (ovulation predictor kits), but I was pretty sure I ovulated earlier than usual. I still didn't think this would result in a pregnancy because we'd had perfect timing before with no pregnancy, and I'd been really sick and ended up in the minor emergency around the time I thought I'd ovulated. I actually regretted not actively trying a bit after the fact because I thought if we made it into another year of trying, I might look back and wish we'd tried earlier.
I took a cheap pregnancy test left over from trying for baby #1 the morning of my expected period just in case, and I was shocked that it was positive. My mom was in town because Willa had been sick the past week, and I needed to find a way to get Brendan alone so I could tell him. After trying (unsuccessfully) to get my mom to take Willa for a walk in her stroller, I said Brendan and I were going to pick up breakfast tacos and drove him to our mailbox around the corner instead. He thought I wanted the mail and jumped out to get it. I really was just trying to find a place to park so I could show him the test! I was so nervous and said, "Hey, I know this isn't exactly what we were planning on..." Brendan was so happy! I was so happy! And we were both so surprised. We talked for a good ten minutes before we realized we should probably actually pick up breakfast so my mom didn't wonder what was up. We were gone for a good hour and were an absolute wreck at the restaurant (like running into people and losing our order number and just completely out of it). I already had an appointment scheduled with my OB for Tuesday to discuss going back on Metformin in preparation to conceive again, so I just kept my appointment and did the blood draw to check my HCG levels. My doctor wasn't nearly as surprised as I was; I guess he has seen many similar situations.
Baby Size: A poppy seed
|Day of positive test (technically 3 weeks, 6 days|
My first pregnancy symptoms were extreme fatigue and tender breasts. It's hard to know if the fatigue was also caused by having a one year old and being in the last week of classes, but I napped for nearly three hours one day, and it was like I couldn't get up even if I wanted to level of tired!
Baby Size: Sesame Seed
HCG level comes back way more than doubled, so that's a great sign. In addition to last week's symptoms I feel a little queasy and have to pee all the time, plus I'm constipated. Brendan says all my symptoms are the exact same. Luckily the peeing all the time symptom disappears pretty quickly. Can't same the same for the others!
Baby Size: A Sweet Pea
We get to have our first ultrasound! Baby measures 6 weeks, 1 day with a heartbeat of 113 bpm. It's a relief but by no means quells my anxiety. I try to distract myself with teaching my online class and writing, but I still have a lot of anxiety. I think that's normal but especially when you've had a loss, it's just very difficult to relax in early pregnancy. My nausea kicks in this week, and Brendan makes a trip to Walgreens to get the sea bands, jolly ranchers, and ginger gum (the things that worked last time). Unfortunately, we soon realize there's going to be less throwing up and feeling temporary relief this time and more all day nausea, and that is not a good combination for getting anything accomplished.
|Mother's Day/6 Weeks|
Baby Size: A Blueberry
This is the week I fully embrace that this is our last pregnancy! (After having Willa, I was temporarily like "maybe we should have 3!") I'm really sick. I need to eat frequently but almost nothing is appealing. To give you an idea, my dinner is saltine crackers, a cheese stick, and sprite. We have another ultrasound and the baby is measuring 7 weeks, 2 days (right on track) with a heartbeat of 143bpm. Official due date is set: January 6, 2020. Brendan and I like the excitement of the 2019 or 2020 baby (I was only 3 days early with Willa though and have a feeling this little one will be born in January, but you never know). I talk to my doctor about the severe all day nausea, and he calls in a prescription. At first, I'm hesitant to take it (I try to avoid taking anything during pregnancy), but after throwing up so much that the blood vessels around my eye burst, I finally try it, and it helps a lot. We get a visit from Amanda and Matt, and they are the first to know the news. Fun fact: in my last pregnancy, I threw up on their rug, so I'm sure they're happy I'm in my own house this time!
Baby Size: A Kidney Bean
I'm still working out (barre and yoga) but needing to take it at my own pace. Brendan is amazing and gets up with Willa in the mornings, changes her dirty diapers, does everything involving smells around the house (which honestly is a lot of things: food prep, trash, cat litter, etc) and overall is an amazing husband. I try to rest as much as possible and eat frequently, which both help with avoiding nausea.
Baby Size: A Grape
I have my only gender prediction dream and dream I'm carrying a boy, but, I had the same dream last time, so the dream doesn't convince me as much (last time I was 95% sure I was carrying a boy, but I was wrong). Food aversions, extremely sensitive to smells, nausea, eating bland food all the time, and totally tired are my symptoms. Plus, I definitely worry about everything: if I can handle two under two, how Willa will be affected, if having a baby during flu season is going to be okay, if Willa will get the baby sick, if my capacity to love will expand. Likely, my personality combined with all the hormones is to blame. I have to remind myself every situation will have its advantages and disadvantages and that we'll make it all work somehow. I think as women, we have a lot of prescribed ideas about how we "should" feel about pregnancy. Of course, I'm grateful, but there are a lot of other feelings going on too.
Baby Size: A Kumquat
We do the blood draw for our genetic testing on Monday and actually get the results back on Friday! I was not expecting that, so I didn't take the time to do all the old wives tales for sex prediction, but in hindsight a few are:
Chinese Gender Prediction: Boy
Morning Sickness: Girl
Mayan Predictor: Girl
Gut Feeling: No idea! I think after having a girl, it's easier to picture that. Plus, last time I predicted boy and was totally wrong.
|My only pic this week: promise the cake is not on fire, it's just that the AC was on!|
Baby Size: A Lime
The week starts off with a doctor's appointment in which the nurse can't find the baby's heartbeat right away. She tells us this is very common, not to worry, and that she'll get the doctor and if he can't find it, we'll do an ultrasound. If you are a person that likes OB appointments, I'm seriously envious. Everything ends up being fine as the doctor finds the heartbeat within a minute, but the minutes waiting on the doctor felt like an hour. Even Brendan, who is way calmer than me, was nervous. I definitely start feeling better this week nausea wise, which is good because it's the week Willa starts walking everywhere and keeping up with her is a lot! If I look tired here, it's because I was!
Baby Size: A Plum
There's so much debate on when the first trimester ends (week 12 or week 13), but my doctor considers 12 the end, so we'll go with that. I'll check in again with a weeks 13-16 update in a few weeks.
In the meantime, I'd like to ask for your continued well wishes, prayers, and good thoughts for a healthy pregnancy, birth, and baby. Thank you for thinking of us and thanks for being along for the ride faithful readers! We can't wait to meet our baby!